If you’ve made it to this column you most likely have already been treated to a generous serving of beefcake. Not that I am complaining—I don’t usually mind being dessert! But, after looking at all those gorgeous men with muscular bodies wearing next to nothing, I feel more like a serving of Lime Jell-O than the Zero-Calorie Hot Fudge Sundae you were probably hoping for.

Maybe it started with the home delivery of the International Male underwear catalog, but seeing hot men in swimsuits always did generate a special blend of allure and anxiety. You end up both wanting to date these men and wanting to be just like them, and for most of us, both goals seem fairly unattainable.

When I was doing therapy with gay men in Texas, the number one problem I encountered was religion. But here in L.A., the number one problem is body image. Let’s face it—we live in a town obsessed with looks, and being gay men, we often catch ourselves between looking and wanting to be looked at.

UCLA psychology great Anne Peplau and her esteemed colleagues published a study in 2008 in the Archives of Sexual Behavior that looked at body image satisfaction in both gay and straight men and women. They found that about a third of gay men in an internet sample had a low appearance evaluation, and a quarter of them had a preoccupation with being overweight. (I strongly suspect these stats would be higher if the study participants were all from L.A.)

Since this is a swimsuit issue, isn’t it nice to know that 26 percent of gay men are uncomfortable in a swimsuit? That number jumps to a whopping 59 percent if the men are obese.

When sex was entered into the equation, things got worse. The study found that 42 percent of those gay men sampled said their body image had a negative effect on their sex life, and 39 percent of those men hid at least one body part during sex. Yikes! No wonder so many guys want to have the lights off or be some version of drunk, high or otherwise obliterated when having sex.

Study Fun Fact: The body part that gay men are most likely to hide during sex is their stomach.

In a strange showing of solidarity, lesbians had about the same incidence of low appearance evaluation and preoccupation with being overweight as the gay boys. (These gals were also stomach hiders.) But—and it’s a big ‘but’—they were far less likely to say their body image had a negative effect on their sex life! Only 27 percent reported such a problem, so most can leave the candles burning.

All these factoids are well and good, but to paraphrase business professor Aaron Levenstein, “Statistics are like a Speedo. What they reveal is interesting. What they hide is vital.”

What these statistics hide is why and what to do about it. We can only guess at the why, but swimsuit season is upon us, so what is more important right now is what to do!

Tear up the swimsuit pictures? Pop a Xanax? Buy a Real Doll? No, no, and—unless your name is Lars—hell no!

If you are among the dissatisfied, here are five tips to keep you sane through swimsuit season:

1. Remind yourself you are not alone. Review the stats above and remember, L.A. is probably a whole lot worse.

2. Dress for what you’ve got. By all means, put on a swimsuit, but choose one that flatters rather than flabs. I’m partial to the maximum coverage of board shorts, myself.

3. Make improvements where improvements can be made. Power-walk, join Jenny Craig, get a new ‘do. If you are not working to improve, you are probably letting things get worse.

4. Ditch the bitchy queens. Negativity is a virus. If you’ve got friends who hate their bodies or put others down, it is only a matter of time before you get infected. Find a group of like-bodied and positive-minded friends, pronto.

5. Get corrective lenses for your mind. You don’t have to like your body, but you will be better off if you can accept it. A good therapist can help you change those negative thoughts and body images. A healthy view of yourself will end up making you more attractive to others, even if you change nothing else.