Ding-dong, Prop. 8 is dead! Once again—and presumably for longer than five months this time—California same-gender couples can get down on one knee, have rice thrown at us and file for divorce just like all the mismatched-gender couples out there! But once the entire gift registry is exhausted, what’s in it for us?

Well, I am not going to get into all the legal mumbo-jumbo. Let’s just hope those old-time traditional marriage laws that once forbade different races from tying the knot and turned a non-consenting woman into a man’s property are now sufficiently changed (except in mutually agreed-upon S&M relationships, of course).

Also, by now, I hope everyone has heard the benefits of marriage for our diverse-gender couples—things like better health, longer lives, less depression, more happiness, quicker illness recovery and less risky behavior. The only question is, Does that hold for the homos, too? Wait, strike that offensive statement. Homos can be in a discrepant-gender marriage. Ask Michele Bachmann.

Do same-gender couples enjoy the same psychological benefits of their contrasting counterparts? According to a 2012 study published in the American Journal of Public Health, researchers found that in our first legal marriage state, Massachusetts, mental and physical health visits and costs went down for gay and bisexual men after marriage equality. The conclusion? The reduction of stigma and inequality lifted a heavy burden off these guys. So far, so good.

The following month in that same journal, a UCLA study was published that found that men who were legally married to other men were more likely than other gay men to be more relaxed, calm, and peaceful, felt less depressed and felt hopeful about the future.

This held true when the married guys were compared to the single guys. But it also held true when the married guys were compared to guys in domestic partnerships! If we didn’t learn it during the Jim Crow era, then we can certainly learn it now—’separate but equal’ is really just separate. To work, it needs to be just equal. It seems that having the same exact status, rights and privileges is what makes the key difference.

What is perhaps more fascinating is that some people are making the case that allowing those of the same gender to wed will reduce HIV-infection rates. I assume they are focusing on the guys here as female-to-female HIV transmission rates are already about as low as you can go.

Everyone seems to be pointing to a 2009 study by Emory University that found bans on same-sex marriage can be directly tied to a rise in the rates of HIV infection. These brains in the Atlanta-based University estimated that constitutional bans on gay marriage raise the infection rate by four cases per 100,000 people. This may not sound like a lot to you, but it is to those four people.

HIV-prevention strategists make the case that same-gender marriage bans contribute to an atmosphere of intolerance for gay people and their relationships, resulting in increases of marginalization, depression and isolation among gay people—especially the young ones. As a result, our higher-risk coping methods of choice go up—sex, drugs and house music. (Now, obviously house music is not a high-risk behavior, but it’s often playing in the background.)

So it’s easy to see why gay marriage bans are not good for our community’s health. But will legal marriage decrease the rates of gay men getting HIV? I know what some of you are thinking—sure it will, because being in a marriage kills your sex life! “First he says, ‘I do,’ then he doesn’t.” Stop! While that may be true for your relationship, my relationship and all of our friends’ relationships, it is not true for everyone.

In fact, some argue that one of the groups at most risk for getting HIV is in-fact men in long-term relationships. Of course, this could be the result of a positive partner transmitting it to a negative partner; these couples are generally extra cautious and tend to stay their respective statuses. What is more likely is these long-termers who use Grindr for more than just chitchat.

All of this is well and good, but here is the real downside—housework. A fascinating 2009 University of Iowa dissertation study found that marriage tends to have a “traditionalizing” effect among same-gender couples. Rather than giving more housework to the person who has more time to do it (as would only seem fair and as is done with the unmarrieds), it appears that femininity determines who does the household labor in these married same-gender couples.

This works well for the one who gets to lie on the couch and drink a beer while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, but it is a real drag for the other one who ends up having to both bring home the bacon and also fry it up in the pan. Now, that is not to say that the bacon-fryer is less butch than his or her partner—it’s more about personality. Basically, they can have a head for bed-making and a bod like a T-Rex.

So, something to think about—legal marriage can bring more happiness, fewer trips to the doctor and less HIV-infection. So it is with great joy we same-gendered couples can now join the dissimilar-gender couples of California for lives of marital bliss (provided you are not the one saddled with the housework).