New year’s resolutions are seductive. When people announce one, they often feel more confident and in control. It’s like a little high of hopefulness. But how many times have you scrapped your goal and given up early? Here are the secrets of a successful new year’s resolution, why they typically fail and how to keep yourself from falling into Baby New Year’s age-old trap.
Every year I’m asked at some random New Year’s Eve gig if I “made any resolutions.” Usually the only resolution I have on my mind at that moment is escaping this prying yahoo and allowing my lips to make an intimate connection with a glass of champagne. Apparently, I’m in the minority. According to Nielsen, only 16% of people in 2015 didn’t make a resolution.
The whole “new year’s resolution” thing seems like that treadmill from The Jetsons that won’t shut off. You just keep doing the same old thing year after year after year (and I’m not talking about marriage). So I’ve decided to crack the code for you on just what makes an effective and lasting new year’s resolution—though I do worry that if I’m successful, I may be fighting you for a spot in my bootcamp class!
The Top New Year’s Resolutions (and How to Make Yours a Good One)
01/ “I’m going to get fit and healthy.”
Ugh. “Diet and exercise” just seem like a fancy way of saying “deprive and exhaust.” And I hate the swell of sweat-covered hopefuls all crowding the gym like an invading ant colony in January, only to retreat back to their respective hills (a.k.a. homes) in February.
The Solution: Figure out why you want to be fit and healthy. Is it because you want to be around for your family? To get more followers on Instagram? Or is it because you want to look attractive to your mate (or your roommate’s mate)? Set a goal that will get you closer, keeping that reasoning in mind.
A Good Resolution: Resolve to do two minutes on the treadmill at the gym, and increase that by two minutes every month. You may feel like a fool at first, but you’ll get into the swing of using a treadmill every time you go into a gym. By December you will spend 24 minutes every time.
02/ “I’m going to lose weight.”
It’s a bitch to get skinny. The problem is that most who have struggled with their weight have also struggled with saying “no.” This prompts drastic diets—or worse, cleanses—putting undo stress on the body and causing it to hold onto whatever weight it can just in case this is the last food it will see in a while.
The Solution: Find the real reason you want to lose weight. Did your friends make fun of your muffin top peeking out of your overly tight Versace tank? Do you wheeze when you climb stairs? Do people roll their eyes when you approach an airline seat?
A Good Resolution: Commit to one change per day, and practice it for 30 days. At the end of one month, add a new strategy to your arsenal. Example: For the first month, drink a bottle of water instead of a soda. For month two, you can add an apple. For month three, add fasting from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. Slow and deliberate changes will have you back in that Versace tank by the time 2017 rolls around … because cold weather should never stop anyone.
03/ “I’m going to enjoy life to the fullest.”
What exactly does this mean? Sure, we all know what it is to have a good time, but how do we go about doing this in a meaningful way?
The Solution: Figure out what it is that floats your boat. For some it may be climbing to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite. For others it could be entertaining several “top-shelf” guests while dangling in a sling at a sleazy motel just off the 101. As Auntie Mame says, “Live! Life’s a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” Figure out what you want to feast upon and enjoy.
A Good Resolution: If you hunger for experiencing other cultures, take one big trip and two weekend trips this year (and plan them immediately). Other examples include: Learning how to ski, learning how to speak Spanish or learning how to take a fist. Use the “one thing a day” rule. Try to figure out one small thing you can do each day that will move you to your goal. By the end of the year, your smile may be your best feature.
04/ “I’m going to get organized.”
This one is rising in 2016 with a bullet due to the popularity of the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.
The Solution: How does this link to your ideal self? Do you want to pay your bills on time? Have an interior that could be mistaken for a room at the new Edition hotel? Just find the remote?
A Good Resolution: Go through every piece of snail mail every day, and don’t let it out of your hand until you have either thrown it away, filed it or acted upon it. Or allocate 30 minutes every day to deal with email, and don’t do anything else during that time until you’ve finished. (Same rules: Trash, file or act.) Of course, if you want the whole banana, get the book and follow the steps there! By the end of the year you’ll be able to have an overnight guest worthy of introducing to mom.
Secrets to a Successful New Year’s Resolution
1. Link it to your “ideal self.” That’s the self you would like to be if there were no barriers or limitations. If you have trouble figuring out what that ideal self is, just ask yourself, “What would I be like in a perfect world?”
2. Commit to a strategy, not an endpoint. Rather than “looking great,” figure out what you can do each day to get you there, and commit to it.
3. Break it down into small, achievable, daily chunks (though weekly or monthly works, too).
4. Reinforce yourself for every step, celebrating every win, no matter how small.
5. If you fall off the wagon, just dust yourself off and get back on.