So you’re (finally) dating a guy? Will this one lead to a trip down the aisle or to the dumpster? Usually those answers are best left to a Magic Eight Ball, but now, just by assessing what kind of couple you are, you may be able to tell if the two of you will make it or break it.
Brains out of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign have determined just that. They studied 170 dating couples (and 36 individuals whose relationships didn’t quite make it) over nine months. Four distinct couple types emerged, and figuring out which one you fall into could determine whether you should be shopping for wedding rings or renewing your Scruff membership.
1. Drama Queens
Dramatic couples made up 34% of the sample. The biggest group! These couples often have similar interests and traits, but in this case, similarity breeds contempt. Drama Queens need an audience, like with their separate groups of friends who are quick to shout back, “You deserve better, hunty!” (Especially the single ones happy to welcome you back into singledom.)
Being in a relationship like this feels like being on a roller coaster—scary, exciting and eventually nauseating. When one finally gets off, he could miss the thrill of it and get right back on again. Unfortunately, each time will be less and less exciting, and other rides will begin to look much more enticing.
Marriage Eight Ball says: “Don’t count on it.” The drama will keep you from deepening your commitment. You’re the most likely to break up.
2. Conflict Connies
Making up 12% of the sample, these conflict-ridden couples were more focused on disagreements in their relationship than any other group. But if you hear them (and you will), they’ll reassure you, “The best part of fighting is making up!” This group is about “passionate love.” For those who may never have been lost in its abyss, this “passion” is a nicer word for lust, which results in feelings of instability and loss of control. It’s like being high, except legally.
Marriage Eight Ball says: “Better not tell you now.” Just bringing up the idea of marriage will start an argument, but you probably aren’t going anywhere because the sex is so hot.
3. Social Butterflies
Defining themselves by social engagements and group memberships, these socially involved couples made up 19% of the sample. Whether it’s a circuit party, the opera or Disneyland, they do it together. RSVPs may be their most common activity, but outside the parties, they’re not likely to make a lot of noise—either in the bedroom or the boxing ring. That’s because it’s less about passion and more about friendship.
“Friendship-based love” results in higher levels of satisfaction than “passion-based love.” That and a slew of family and friends that help strengthen the couple’s identity and give them support. This may also be the same reason arranged marriages do as well as they do.
Marriage Eight Ball says: “Signs point to yes.” Marriage doesn’t worry either of you, and you both want to keep having fun with each other, which allows deeper levels of commitment.
4. Three-Legged Larrys
These partner-focused couples make up 30% of the sample and seem fused at the hip as if they just came from a three-legged race. Like the Drama Queens, they have similar interests and traits, but unlike them, those similarities only strengthen their bond. They truly value the relationship they’re in and give it high marks.
Like the Social Butterflies, this group tends to have more “friendship-based love,” but here they become each other’s social supports and tend to spend more time with each other than going to parties or gatherings. Of all the groups, the Three-Legged Larrys have the highest relationship satisfaction. Ultimately, these are the relationships that endure the longest.
Marriage Eight Ball says: “It is certain.” Start picking out the china pattern, because marriage is the next logical step.
Did the Marriage Eight Ball not give you the answer you want? Stop playing games and get real with yourself. Are you a drama queen? Prefer passion to friendship? Blame most of your relationship problems on your partner? If so, you need to do some real work. Either that or start brushing up on your woofs.